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Imperious and Bossy. You’d Better Like It.

28 Sep

There is a young man in my chemistry lab who has appointed himself my friend. It’s a little weird, and he has made it a point to share life information with me that I don’t care to know. I raise the scenario because my reaction to his sharing brings up some deeper considerations. He’s about five years younger than me, which is not important out of context, but there seems to be a considerable difference in life experience and expectation.

He felt the need to tell me as we were leaving class, what a hard life he has had up to this point, some of his hardships self-inflicted and some not. He’s lived in (four?) a few different states and has experimented with a lot of substances, and is still a smoker (smoking is a rant for a different time, and oh boy, is it a rant).

My reaction to hearing these things I hoped was properly sympathetic, but outside looking in, might have come across as condescending. Or just apathetic. It’s hard to get worked up over someone else’s standard of experience when it’s less than your own. Or maybe when they are describing hardships that don’t seem to have taken too much out of them. I’m not sure I’m explaining this properly.

I talked to Alex about it for a few hours the afternoon after. My question to him was how to convey concern without being imperious or bossy, or condescending for that matter. He gave me some comforting insight; perhaps he sugar-coated it, haha. To truncate his explanation, he basically said I remind him of Hermione. Maybe I am imperious and bossy, but I generally know what I’m talking about, and I’m always coming from a well-meaning place. Those who get me, get me, and those who don’t probably aren’t trying very hard. Or aren’t worth the effort.

It’s weird to be 26 and still second-guessing one’s self. I don’t care for it. I do like having friends who have my back.

Even if it is thousands of miles away. Alex currently lives in Chicago, but is moving to Seattle the second week of October. I’m not terribly worried since we’ve only seen each other on his visits back to Alabama, but I can’t help feel a twinge that he’s going to be even farther away. He’s moving for a job to a start up branding company. Seems like a good move since branding is the new hot thing, and this company is doing well enough to hire new employees. Plus, hey, it’s Seattle. Heidi just moved to Portland about a month ago, and if I ever go out to visit one, I’ll definitely visit the other.

Maybe when all of this schooling is done, I should just move to the NW? Votes for and against?

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